What’s baffling about this is that you give multiple examples of toxic masculinity and its effects, then you inexplicably claim that it’s a “myth.” If you’re going to critique a concept, you need to actually understand what the concept is and how it’s defined by the people who use it.
For one, “toxic masculinity” does not mean that masculinity itself is “toxic.” If I refer to “toxic water,” I’m not saying all water is bad and it will kill you.
From Wikipedia:
The concept of toxic masculinity is used in psychology and media discussions of masculinity to refer to certain cultural norms that are associated with harm to society and to men themselves. Traditional stereotypes of men as socially dominant, along with related traits such as misogyny and homophobia, can be considered “toxic” due in part to their promotion of violence, including sexual assault and domestic violence. The socialization of boys often normalizes violence, such as in the saying “boys will be boys” with regard to bullying and aggression.
Self-reliance and emotional repression are correlated with increased psychological problems in men such as depression, increased stress, and substance abuse.
An example of toxic masculinity is feeling like it’s not masculine to cry or express your emotions, or that you have to conform to a certain masculine body type.
It’s interesting that you use Elliott Hulse here. Hulse’s whole schtick is that it’s okay to cry, which is approaching a non-toxic version of masculinity. However, even then he has to reframe it as “Oh, actually crying is alpha as fuck. Don’t go cry in front of your therapist, dude. Cry while you’re hitting a punching bag like a real-ass alpha man.”
Hulse has promoted a lot of this bro science “soy boy” nonsense. This is the definition of “toxic masculinity” right here, my dude:
He’s part of The Red Man Group/21 Convention, whose speakers include classic examples of toxic masculinity.
The upcoming convention will feature Youtuber Stefan Molyneux, who once blamed women for all the problems in the world:
Women who choose the assholes will fuckin’ end this race. They will fuckin’ end this human race, if we don’t start holding them a-fucking-ccountable. Women who choose assholes guarantee child abuse. Women who choose assholes guarantee criminality, sociopathy, politicians. All the cold-hearted jerks who run the world came out of the vaginas of women who married assholes. And I don’t know how to make the world a better place without holding women accountable for choosing assholes!
There’s also Ivan Throne, who goes by “Dark Triad Man.” His ideal of masculinity is to be a literal psychopath.
You end with some positive attributes that you define as masculinity:
Self-accountability, facing fears, having a self-defined purpose, have all allowed me to love myself and to have a much needed degree of self-respect.
These are virtues that aren’t inherently masculine or feminine. They’re good attributes for any person to have. Maybe you can decouple the idea of being a good person from “manhood?”
The connection between mass shooters and toxic masculinity is real. A lot of them are “blackpilled” washouts from “redpill” groups. If you go to any incel forum, there’s a palpable hate for PUAs (ex. Elliott Roger) because they all at some point or another spent their time trying to live up to toxic ideas of what a man should be. They do feel emasculation, but it’s not from feminists calling them “toxic.”
